Rumlow actually snorted at the poke that he might have cared, and it was closer to the truth that he let anyone believe. His life back then had been the mission, a dog of war, a soldier of HYDRA who knew his place and had found the top pedestal to sit from and watch it all burn around him. He was high enough in HYDRA to have some clout, to occasionally have the Secretary's ear, but in the end, he was a soldier. He had a job and negotiating was a risky business, especially where the Soldier was involved.
His life hadn't been about caring. It had been about getting the tasks done, to bring in the New World Order (tm). Maybe - just maybe - he saw a little of his own position in Winter's, of how they both gave up everything for the mission, though he had a choice on that and Winter most definitely had not. His attempt to buy freedom wasn't about caring - it was totally about caring - but about letting another soldier free after so many years of service (still actually about caring).
It took him longer than probably necessary to actually answer the accusation, instead shifting his stance to something casual, like they were talking about the weather or the latest ball game. He knew that tone well after all, but lying would be about his own manhood and would benefit neither of them. That realization actually irked him a bit as well, though he had planned on all of this to begin with. Whatever, he had lost everything else, why not show that emotional vulnerability he never let show because of his male emotional constipation. Winter hadn't killed him; was it worth the risk?
"Maybe I did care," he drawled lazily, again making this all seem rather casual. "Maybe I thought you deserved better. Maybe I still do. Fact is we could both benefit from an association. I know HYDRA bolt-holes better than most; I know the radio channels they use; I know how to hide and get us jobs which actually pay for the skills we have."
And yeah, this was about being agreeable. It wouldn't work otherwise. "You know they put shit in your head to control you. What if I could help get it out?"
no subject
His life hadn't been about caring. It had been about getting the tasks done, to bring in the New World Order (tm). Maybe - just maybe - he saw a little of his own position in Winter's, of how they both gave up everything for the mission, though he had a choice on that and Winter most definitely had not. His attempt to buy freedom wasn't about caring - it was totally about caring - but about letting another soldier free after so many years of service (still actually about caring).
It took him longer than probably necessary to actually answer the accusation, instead shifting his stance to something casual, like they were talking about the weather or the latest ball game. He knew that tone well after all, but lying would be about his own manhood and would benefit neither of them. That realization actually irked him a bit as well, though he had planned on all of this to begin with. Whatever, he had lost everything else, why not show that emotional vulnerability he never let show because of his male emotional constipation. Winter hadn't killed him; was it worth the risk?
"Maybe I did care," he drawled lazily, again making this all seem rather casual. "Maybe I thought you deserved better. Maybe I still do. Fact is we could both benefit from an association. I know HYDRA bolt-holes better than most; I know the radio channels they use; I know how to hide and get us jobs which actually pay for the skills we have."
And yeah, this was about being agreeable. It wouldn't work otherwise. "You know they put shit in your head to control you. What if I could help get it out?"